Meet Sarah

 

 

Sarah Kain Gutowski and her husband Andrew are the proud parents of three gorgeous children – Lisbeth, 8 years old; Joshua, 4 years old; and Niko, 15 weeks. As well as being a mother of three, Sarah also works full-time outside of the home as a college associate professor of English, and is a writer.

I should have guessed, since she’s a writer and English professor, that Sarah’s Fit Mama Friday story would be beautifully composed and almost poetic as she describes exactly what she gains as a mother and a woman from being active and fit. She also shares a couple of tools that have helped her tremendously as she attempts to get back to her pre-pregnancy shape. Enjoy!

 

On Being a Fit Mama:

I strive to be a fit mama in every sense. To me – to most people, I believe – being fit means being physically well and psychologically well at the same time. These two aspects of “self” are so intrinsically tied that when I think of getting back into shape after the birth of my third child, I’m taking steps to exercise physically, but I’m thinking mostly about the mental benefits: the way a good run can decrease my natural dispensation toward anxiety by whittling away my nervous energy, or the way a long walk can give me the time and space inside my own head that I need as a writer, and as a living, breathing person – after all, don’t we all need that space in order to remain sane?

Maybe it’s obvious to most people, but it just occurred to me that the path to physical and mental fitness isn’t really a long, hard road. I was going to use that metaphor, and then I realized that it’s not really apt. The path doesn’t lead anywhere – there’s rarely a point where you say, “Okay, I’m physically and mentally fit now. Done!” The path is more like a track through woods – a loop we circle again and again, with the scenery and terrain changing through the seasons. Sometimes the ground is soft, and sometimes the ground is frozen and refuses to give underneath the foot. (Sometimes we work out with a kind of fervent dedication, and sometimes we sink into sloth for months.) Sometimes it feels as if we’ll never be able to breathe or move easily in our bodies again, and then suddenly, as if the sun just came out, we feel warm and at home in our limbs and synced with the natural world.

But perhaps I’m waxing too poetic. In plainer terms, it’s natural to waver in and out of a workout regimen, because life isn’t a workout. Workouts are a part of life, and there are lots of other parts of life that are fighting for your time and attention, particularly if you’re a mother. I suspect that the important thing is to remember that all of these “parts” of our lives are connected, just like physiological well-being and psychological well-being are connected. If you were a machine (and sometimes we have to consciously remember, we’re not machines, but let’s just continue for the sake of the argument) all of the different roles you occupy would be the gears. In a simple machine, if something gets caught in the gears, the whole thing shuts down. Motion, propulsion, stops. In more complex machines, motion may be able to continue if one of the gears fails, but the machine certainly doesn’t work as efficiently as it could. We have to remember, as we engage in our busy, packed, to-do list driven lives, that “workout gears” are as necessary as the “employment gear” or even the “parenthood gear.”

You might take issue with the word “necessary.” Of course – of course – we can function without working out. After all, if we’re machines, we’re complex machines. (. . . but we’re not machines, right?) Yet I’d argue that we don’t function as efficiently, mentally, when we fail to keep our bodies moving. Humans were designed to move, and to move a lot.

As mothers, we do move a lot. As I’ve grown older, and as I’ve had more children, I’ve come to realize that even if I’m not wearing spandex and sporting my running shoes, I’m still working out if I get myself moving. Walks with children and dogs = cardio. Carrying the baby around (constantly), lifting her up and down from the changing table, or taking her in and out of the car seat = weight training. Particularly in these first months, before my infant daughter has slipped into a regular schedule of sleeping and wakefulness, I have to take what I can get. I have to remember, too, that while it’s easy to sit inside with the baby while the two older children run wild in and out of the house, it’s better for us both, me and the newbie, if I keep moving, whether she’s strapped to me in the Baby Bjorn or propped in the stroller.

I guess that if I’ve learned anything from parenting, it’s that moderation in all things is important, as is flexibility and compromise. So if that means taking a walk around the neighborhood and calling it a workout, so be it.  When I learned I was pregnant again a year ago, I intended to keep running all through my pregnancy. I hadn’t been very active during my two previous pregnancies, and I thought that because I was over 35, and because I’d already discovered that maintaining a healthy weight is a little tougher as one approaches 40, I should do my best to remain in shape.

But then, as it does, life happened. Morning sickness and the exhaustion that came with it really ate up my spare time – time that wasn’t occupied already with caring for my two older children and meeting the demands of my career. And then I had some minor complication with my pregnancy that freaked me out and made rough, jarring motions completely undesirable. So I sank back into relative stasis – or as still as one can be with an active eight year old and four year old running about.

To compensate for my decreased activity, I attempted to eat small, relatively healthy meals – once I felt like eating again, that is. I ate lots of vegetables and fruit and granola bars; moderately consumed nuts and milk-based foods like yogurt and my weakness, ice cream; and drank lots and lots of water instead of soda. Even still, I managed to feel dehydrated and swollen like a tick at the same time. (It was a marvelous nine months!)

Now that I’ve spawned, my body is gradually finding its way back to pre-pregnancy shape. The difference between this post-partum period and the ones that followed my two prior pregnancies is that I’m really, really not into punishing myself about the way I look. Instead, I’m focusing far more on how I feel, and exercising – or not exercising – according to what will make me feel best, physically and emotionally.

For instance, I think I’ve recognized that my body will outright refuse to burn calories if I’m sleep deprived. (Not to mention mama gets cranky without at least 5 hours of sleep.) So if Niko and I have had a rough night, I’m going to indulge in naps – which, prior to having children, were something I likened to torture. I know, too, that if I’m missing sleep I tend to crave, and indulge in, comfort food and overeating. So, you know: Yay naps!

Additionally, I’m exercising with the goal of releasing stress, anxiety, and occasional sadness – those terrible post-partum side-effects that so many of us experience and so few of us admit to experiencing. It’s easy to sit and sit inside the house day after day, stewing in encroaching depression, especially when you know that within a few short minutes you’ll just have to sit down again and engage in either “being food” (breastfeeding) or serving food (bottle-feeding). Getting outside and moving alleviates some of the depression. Sunlight, even the gray light of an overcast day, is better for the spirit than the shine cast from fluorescent or incandescent bulbs.

And movement – even with a baby strapped to you – gives you back a little bit of your self-hood. That movement is a reminder that you are independent, willful, spirited. Your body is an evocation of that spirit, and when you move your body you know yourself more fully, and that knowledge can lead to contentment, satisfaction, and peacefulness – even when you’re destined to be up at 3:30 in the morning for the next 6 months of your life.

 

On What Helps me be a Fit Mama:

There are two items that have helped me keep an eye toward staying fit as I attempt to regain my pre-pregnancy body. As I tell you about them, keep in mind I’m not endorsing particular brands, I’m just sharing how I keep track of my activity these days.

One is RunKeeper: a web site you can join, with an app that you can download on your smart phone. Even if you’re more of a walker than a runner, this web site helps you log your daily fitness activities. Why would anyone do this? you might ask. Well, you might if you’re like me – for some reason, I have a compulsion to document everything. (Pity the fool who friends me on Facebook). Neuroses aside, keeping a workout log can help you recognize patterns and habits, which in turn can help you tweak your regimen to make your time and efforts more effective. Also, it’s a fun way to hold yourself accountable – you can use it to deliver reminders to work out, you can use its mapping function to figure out just how long that neighborhood stroll is, and you can keep little notes about each of the activities you log – including photos!

For instance, once I was allowed to begin exercising again after Niko’s birth, I started trying to take walks with my newborn and our dog while the two older kids were in school. I write “trying” because each time felt like an attempt to get out of the house and return unscathed. Niko, it appears, hates to be out of my arms and she resents being strapped down. Mostly she saves her rage for the car and her infant seat, but some of her angst is directed toward the strollers, too. (That’s right, I wrote strollerS. I’m spoiled and I have three, and I use them all, depending on the situation: a standard one that works with the infant seat, a two-kid stroller, and a jogging stroller.) Anyway, here’s what the month of May was like:

 

 

 

The other tool that I use is new for me. It’s all fancy and technological, but it’s basically a souped-up pedometer. It’s called the Fitbit, and it comes with an app that lets you track your water and caloric intake. I’m less fanatical about keeping track of these things – after all, how much record keeping can a woman do while she’s taking care of her family? – but it’s nice to have these options there when and if I want to use them. It also tracks my steps each day, and I can set it to track my sleep as well. (Which is, as you might expect, a little depressing at 15-weeks post-partum. See below.)

 

 

 

The pedometer fits inside a bracelet, and I wear it constantly – not because I’m so interested in making sure I get in exactly the right number of steps each day, but because it’s a good reminder: that even while I’m taking care of this brand new, precious little life, and continuing to take care of her not-so-new, but just-as-precious older siblings, I need to take care of myself as well.

Of course, I’ve felt some amount of guilt about that, too – after all, I’m a working mother, and in addition to my career, I’ve already I set aside time from my family to write, in the mornings, before they wake up (at least, that’s the way it worked before Niko was born). Now I’m going to set aside time, probably when they’re all awake, to exercise?

The answer for me, ultimately, obviously, is yes. I believe in modeling positive behaviors. I want my kids to know that when I’m telling them to go out and run around in the backyard, because it’s important to get some exercise each day, I believe in what I’m saying, and that I do what I say. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables in front of them, I try (try) to refrain from eating a lot of junk in front of them, and I come back from my walks or runs (if I happen to go on them alone) with a smile on my face.

Exercise makes Mommy less crazy, I say. They think it’s a joke, and they laugh – and I laugh, too – but it’s 100% true.

 

Thanks so much for being a Fit Mama, Sarah! I love your focus on movement as the workout in and of itself. It’s so true – just getting yourself up and moving can be all you need to feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally, especially in those first few post-natal weeks when you don’t really feel like yourself.