Thoughts Before the Marathon

I’m running a marathon on Sunday. I’m not nervous as much as have my head firmly planted in the sand about what it’s going to be like. You know when you hurt yourself badly and then afterward you find it difficult to remember how that pain felt? If you’ve given birth (an experience that’s not unlike running a marathon), then you know this concept well. The joy at the end just washes all the terrible parts away when you think back on it later.

The problem is I have a sinking feeling that on Sunday I’m going to be remembering all too clearly what those painful moments of the marathon are like. AND that they might be a little more painful than  the last two times I experienced them.

If nothing else, training for this marathon has given me some insight into the power of motivation and perseverance. I signed up for this race thinking I would train to beat my PR and be in peak shape by this time. And then life got in the way. Our schedule was all over the place. The kids got sick, then I got sick. Nursing didn’t slow down as much as I anticipated. I never did get around to changing my sleep habits to get the rest I needed.

If those sound like excuses, it’s because they are. I simply wasn’t motivated enough to make my training my priority and do everything I could to achieve my goal. I was speaking to a friend this week who is writing an article on mother runners. She asked me if I had to get my training done in the mornings, just to make it work. “No, I don’t,” I told her. “I have to be up at 6:30am to get the boys up and ready to go, so I really can’t squeeze it in.” Even as the words were coming out of my mouth I realized they were total BS and I had been believing it without question. Of course I could have been morning running. I could have been out the door at 5 or 5:15 and gotten a decent workout in on any morning of the week without impact on my day. 

What I do know now, though, is perseverance counts for an awful lot when you’re training for a marathon. I got my workouts done, for the most part. I only missed one long run when I was sick and rescheduled my plan so I could make it up. I slogged through the rain for 20 miles. I ran in snow, with spikes on ice, in the wind, through the mud and in the middle of hot days. I ran pushing a stroller. I chafed, I sweat, I swore, I cried. I ran trails and hills and roads and grass. So am I prepared to run a marathon on Sunday? Hell yeah I am. Will it be slow and hard? Most likely, yes! But that’s okay. That’s where I am at right now for what I have to give to the marathon.

I’m going to run by feel on Sunday. I’ll wear my watch so I can take a look at my time and splits afterward, but since I know I can’t PR, this is a perfect opportunity to experiment with running by effort in a big event, especially since it’s supposed to be 80 degrees on race day. 

Wish me luck! I’ll have a recap up next week – I’m taking Monday off to recover. 😉