This weekend is our 12th wedding anniversary – I can’t believe we’ve been married for a dozen years!
It doesn’t seem so long ago we were walking down the aisle, although given how young Fran and I both look, I guess it is actually very believable. 😉 I was 24, he was 30. We were babies! If you haven’t read the story of how we met, here’s the whole backstory of why we had what some might call an accelerated courtship. We decided to get married within 6 weeks of meeting, were engaged within 6 months and got married a little over a year after we first met.
Fran is still my best friend, the love of my life and the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. Here are 12 reasons why I think our marriage works so well:
1. We’ve grown – together. Think back to what you were like 12 years ago. I don’t know about you, but I was a totally different person and so was my husband. But we’ve been best friends and stuck together through so many experiences that as we’ve changed, we’ve done it together.
2. We have our own lives. We both have friends the other barely knows, for example. We take turns being at-home parent while the other goes out for a boys’ night or a girls’ night. For all the experiences we share, we definitely have independent lives as well.
3. We have each other’s back in a crisis. I spent every day by Fran’s bedside when he was supposed to die (turns out doctors don’t know everything – phew! 😉 ) When my mum was very sick years ago, Fran was my rock and there for me without fail. When one of us is having a mini-crisis as well, we drop everything to support each other.
4. We decide the important stuff ahead of time. Maybe this doesn’t work the same for everyone, but it definitely works for us. When we are making decisions, or about to embark on something important, we discuss the details and how we want to approach it and make sure we’re in agreement. When I was pregnant with Roman, we decided ahead of time what kind of parenting approach we wanted to take, how we wanted to raise him and what values we wanted to instill in him as he grew.
5. We ADORE our son (and baby-to-be as well!) but we make sure we have grown-up time, just the two of us, as well. Otherwise, we’ll turn around when our kids head off to college and have no idea how to relate to each other.
6. We have shared some of our passions with each other (but we’re totally okay with not wanting anything to do with some of them). Fran taught me all about hockey and why it’s the greatest sport in the world. He’s read just about every book I’ve recommended to him. I now love big band thanks to his passion. He has an appreciation for IPA beer thanks to me. I’m never going to be a Rush or a Slayer fan and he’s never going to run a marathon – and that’s cool too.
7. We pay attention to detail. Small details. He will make me a cup of tea whenever I ask and I turn down his side of the bed every night.
8. We get mad at each other. When we irritate the crap out of each other, we express that. It also means we get over it pretty quickly.
9. We share a sense of humor and have tons of inside jokes. In a stressful situation we can break out something guaranteed to make each other laugh.
10. We trust each other – we are never on eggshells or spending time working out the right way to say something.
11. We support each others’ dreams and ambitions. Fran is my number one cheerleader when it comes to my running and racing. He’s never complained about the hours I’ve spent training and working out while he watches Roman. I’ve been there every step of the way when he was in a band, when he got laid off and tried his hand working in a tattoo studio and wine tasting room, among other places.
12. We love each other – and this one is good to have from the start, before you take the plunge and get married, but I can honestly say that the way we love each other has shifted and changed and grown over the 12 years of our marriage.
And let’s make it a baker’s dozen and throw in number 13: Some of it is just luck. Sometimes you just don’t know what life is going to throw at you, or how you’re going to grow within a relationship. All of us can look back on friendships or relationships that have soured or ended, for one reason or another. Marriages are no different and I really believe luck has a part to play in having the outcome of a happy relationship.
So cheers to 12 years and here’s to many more!
Happy Anniversary! Looks like a match made in heaven. Gosh it goes fast, doesn’t it?
Marcia recently posted…Test Lab Thursday
Thank you! It goes SO fast and it makes me feel old to be in double digits anniversaries!
Happy Anniversary! LOVE the wedding picture! I wish you both the best!!
Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama recently posted…Run BAM Run: Running Breaks, Virtual Races & Fall Temps
Thanks my lovely. 🙂
CHEERS! This was so beautifully written and it’s so obvious that you were made for each other. That picture is just too much! You were a blonde?? And, my husband and I had a similar courtship. We were engaged after 6 months. When you know, you know! Happy Anniversary and many more to come!!
Allie recently posted…Fitness Magazine’s Meet & Tweet Recap in 140 Characters
I was a blonde! So weird, isn’t it? I love that you guys had a similar courtship – no need to beat around the bush when you know it’s right.
Awwww! Happy anniversary! I kind of got teary reading this! Also, I totally didn’t know your whole backstory and that you landed back in Oz on 9/11. That is so crazy! I feel like when you meet someone overseas it really makes you decide quickly whether the relationship is worth it or not. And, I totally feel you on the immigration thing. Let me just say that the process for Australian residency and citizenship is so much easier! Congrats to you two!
Btw, my brother’s anniversary was just yesterday!
Britt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…Friday’s Food & Fitness: Kalette + A Commercial
Yes on the living overseas thing! You really have to make a decision one way or the other. We still need to do Roman’s Australian citizenship papers, so I’m happy to hear it’s a little less soul-sucking than getting US residency.
Happy anniversary!! I’m 24 now and can’t imagine making a marriage decision 6 weeks after meeting the one! but you both obviously made the right choice 🙂
and I read both posts you linked back to…WOW!
Karen recently posted…Sister weekend
When I think back to being 24, I’m amazed that’s when I got married! ha ha. Never thought I’d settle down so young, but sometimes life throws you a curveball (or a great husband, in this case!)
Happy Anniversary! We just celebrated our 12th in May. I was 24 and he was 29…such babies!
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted…High Five Friday
The 20s seem so long ago now! My husband had just (like 2 days before our wedding) turned 30 and I remember thinking I was marrying such an older guy. LOL!!!
Happy Anniversary – this was a gorgeous tribute to your husband and y’alls marriage!!!
And, I love your wedding picture – beautiful!!
Kim recently posted…Fun Friday!!
Awww, thanks Kim!
So wonderful – congratulations!
Once my MIL was explaining why my brother-in-law and sister-in-law’s marriage works: “She adores him more than anything, and he loves being adored!” It was tongue-in-cheek, but I knew what she meant – he likes being seen that way, the caretaker, the rescuer.
I repeated this to my husband and said, “I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I don’t think that’s us. I do adore you, but I think we work because we…respect each other.”
He was eating a sandwich over the sink, stopped chewing, and said, “That’s exactly what I was going to say. And now I’m tearing up over here, with my PBJ.” 🙂
Jessica recently posted…Then and Now: Pregnancy Edition
I love it! I think what makes this story perfect is that he was eating a PB&J over the sink. 🙂
Happy Anniversary! We just celebrated our 13th in August and we were total babies as well, I was 21, he was 22!
Jen@jpabstfitness recently posted…Weigh In {2}
Congrats!! 21, wow! Sometimes you just know and it just works. 🙂
Happy 12 years. What a wonderful number for years of marriage. I think it’s key about having adult time because it’s true. These kids will rampage through our lives.. and one day leave. And I don’t want to glance at him and not know the person he has become.
Growing together is pretty great too.
Tamara recently posted…Your Friendly Neighborhood Ask Away Friday.
It’s a nice, even dozen. 🙂
Happy happy anniversary!!!! <3
Esther recently posted…Foodie Pen Pals, October
Thanks Esther! 🙂