On Optimism and Joy

Have you seen that popular quote, “Choose Joy”? I’ve seen it a lot recently, maybe because it was the time of year for setting resolutions and goals. It’s one of those ideas that I immediately like, then wonder if it is at all attainable. How do you choose joy? Sometimes life just isn’t going your way and you struggle and flail. Short of faking happiness, I can think of many times in my life I was anything but joyful, through no choice of my own.

Optimism and Joy are often used interchangeably. But what does being an optimist mean? Similar to “Choose Joy”, these words from the Dalai Lama suggest you can just decide to be an optimist:

Now, the Dalai Lama has been through some terrible experiences in his life, yet has kept his compassionate, joyful nature intact, so could he be right that anyone can choose to be optimistic?

source (L) and source (R)

If you look up synonyms for optimism, it’s clear it means totally different things depending on the person and the circumstances. Maybe it means a stoic kind of happy-calm: assured, confident, encouraged. It could also describe someone you’d rather avoid for fear of punching them: perky, sunny, ray of sunshine. (I know when my early morning clients are in a bad mood if any of them describe me as “perky”. It is not meant as a compliment! 😉 ) There’s a definition tied to faith and belief: keeping the faith, trusting. And then there’s the correlation with happiness: happy, cheerful, merry, all the way up to on top of the world or on cloud nine.

Just as interesting are the listed antonyms. Depressed. Really? The opposite of optimism is depression? Hopeless. That’s a powerful word, ‘hopeless’. To be hopeless signifies things have gotten about as bad as they can possibly be. Is that the opposite of being an optimist? Despair. Ranks up there with hopeless. Then, interestingly, pragmatism and realism make an appearance, as if insinuating that being an optimist is being unrealistic.

It seems like it’s not just me who is confused about what optimism even means, judging by those lists. 

Whatever it means to you, can you choose to be optimistic? When I describe an optimist, I usually mean they are able to find the good in any situation, even the terrible situations we all encounter in life. I mean that they are able to imagine and hope for the best possible outcome in any situation.

I put some feelers out to see what others thought about the idea of choosing optimism and this is what they came back with:

“I think you can choose to do things which make it easier to gain and maintain an optimistic outlook, like exercising, eating heathy and volunteering.” – Erich

This is an interesting point – it’s like you’re setting the foundation to give yourself every chance of happiness and positive thinking. If your stress levels are low and your sense of well-being is high, through regular exercise and taking care of your body and soul, it means when bad things happen in life, you may find them easier to deal with, or easier to keep a positive outlook.

“When we choose not to be happy we are letting something or someone to empower us… It’s possible to be optimistic and positive by surrounding yourself with people that add value to your life and who are positive… You are who you associate with!” – Kimberly

I definitely agree with the idea that the energy of the people in your life have a huge impact on your own energy and mindset. While I’m not sure that being UNhappy is a choice any more than being happy is, I can definitely appreciate the idea that positivity may be contagious.

“It’s hard to be optimistic all the time, especially when a situation seems hopeless. So you really have to make the effort and believe that things will work out and yes…I believe that it feels better.” – Giselle

“Optimism is tough work. Sometimes it doesn’t come easily. You HAVE to choose it!” – Zoe

On the surface, it seems like ‘optimism’ and ‘hard work’ don’t fit together. I feel like that “Choose Joy” quote is always superimposed on a picture of someone frolicking in a field, or splashing happily in an ocean, as if you just decide to be joyful and then every day you’re having the time of your life. It may be hard work, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important, or the means to happiness.

In the same vein, as well as it being hard work to be an optimist, a couple of friends suggested it’s also an ongoing process:

“I think it is a constant process and not an end point if that makes sense- I am always choosing but it is never chosen.” – Emily

“It’s a choice to be optimistic, yes, but it’s a constant choice. You don’t just decide and that’s it, you have to keep choosing it every day.” – Dan

This makes sense – if it’s something you have to work hard at, it’s not like one day you just arrive at being optimistic. Life is so unpredictable and you never know what’s about to happen, hence the need to be always making the decision to be an optimist.

So, can you Choose Optimism? Can you Choose Joy?

I believe you can try to choose optimism and you can try to choose joy. You may not (or more likely, will not) always succeed. But, like anything in life, when you keep practicing something, you ultimately improve. Maybe optimism is a skill to be cultivated.

What do YOU think? Do you choose optimism or do you think it’s impossible?