On Fit Mama Friday today, I’d like to introduce you to Jessica Roberts, a whip-smart Higher Education Consultant and the owner of Aim High Writing College Consulting. I just discovered her excellent blog, Absurd, She Wrote, described in her words as, “I see a story in everything, even the mundane. Especially the mundane.” Maybe it’s because I’m a Seinfeld fan, but the first time I checked out her blog, I was reading it for an hour. Jessica and her husband Ben, a doctor with the Army, are expecting their first child – a baby girl – this November. With a history of anorexia, Jessica worked hard on her recovery and found herself in the best shape of her life when she became pregnant. Also, in some excellent Fit Mama Friday timing, today is Jessica’s birthday!

Writing is your profession and you obviously love sharing the craft with others – I noticed you have a ‘Business of Writing’ series on your personal blog. Tell us more about your business, Aim High.

I work with aspiring and current college and graduate school students (as well as parents) to find the right school, scholarship, and financial aid options, with an emphasis on writing the most competitive applications and developing young adults into what I call “Self-Advocating Students” – those who are confident in their own abilities to face and resolve any of the academic, professional, and personal challenges common to a university environment.

I offer free resources for parents and students on Aim High Writing’s website, and enjoy working with clients both in person and through online consulting.

What kind of fitness level were you at prior to pregnancy? What kinds of workouts were you doing?

Prior to pregnancy, I was probably my most healthy I’ve ever been. I struggled with anorexia from ages 18 to 25, starving myself and doing mostly cardio – long elliptical sessions, some running, a lot of forced walking. At 26, newly married, supported by my wonderful husband, and tired of just enduring – rather than actually living – my life, I committed to recovery. One of the key components of both my physical and mental recovery was powerlifting.

I found a coach who had extensive training and experience working with someone with an ED history; he functioned as both trainer and counselor for me over the next 10 months. We agreed I needed a solid goal, so I worked towards competing in a meet. In June 2013 I won trophies for my bench press and deadlift, where I deadlifted a new PR of twice my bodyweight!

However, I am someone who likes to complete a challenge and move on. One thing I noticed was how much easier running was (for the first time in my life) now that I had adequate nutrition and muscular development. My next goal became to train for a 10K.

Unfortunately, this goal ultimately conflicted with my personal goal of becoming pregnant.

Was it difficult for you to get pregnant, given your health history? I know that fertility can be negatively affected by what your body goes through with an eating disorder.

I had to admit to myself I was likely experiencing Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA), as a result of my years of overexercising and undereating. I also had to admit to myself I wasn’t as recovered as I wanted to believe I was, when I found it excruciatingly difficult to cut back on the exercise and add in more calories, despite wanting a baby more than anything.

Still, I did it. I limited myself to walking. I started moving away from a protein-heavy diet in favor of a more nutrient-dense way of eating that incorporated carbs and fats as well – essential for restoring and maintaining a woman’s fertility.

Any proof I needed that I had to let go of my ED to realize my other life goals, specifically becoming a mother, appeared a few months later in the form of a pregnancy test.

I am now 30 weeks pregnant. I won’t lie and say I suddenly had complete comfort around food or stopped having thoughts about needing to excessively exercise.

I will, however, say that I have had real moments of clarity in which I am able to divorce thoughts about my self-worth from my weight, my body, and my exercise log.

How did you feel when you realized you were pregnant? You must have felt blessed that you were able to conceive after what your body had been through. 

Not all women have the ability or the desire to become mothers, and you will never hear me say that a woman has to have a child to fulfill some kind of biological destiny to make her life meaningful. Nope. Of course not.

In my specific case, however, I very much wanted the option of becoming a mother (whether by my own body or through adoption), and am exceedingly grateful that despite the years of abuse I inflicted on my body, I was still able to conceive and grow a baby girl. Pregnancy has been a meaningful experience for me because it has shown me that I have to take care of myself so that I can take care of others.

That’s such an important thing to realize, that I think some mothers struggle with – that taking care of yourself is really important. So, in terms of taking care of yourself by working out, what have you been doing during your pregnancy?

In the first trimester I felt pretty puketastic, so my formal workouts (some weight lifting or short runs) dwindled to a couple of days a week. Mostly I just walked, a slow shuffle around the neighborhood with my dog, as I tried not to barf all over my neighbor’s petunias.

Then I had the magical rainbow unicorn of a second trimester people kept promising. Running! Jillian Michaels workouts! Power yoga! My mother came to visit when I was 23 weeks along and asked in a horrified voice, “Should you be doing jumping jacks right now?!”

My feelings on it were if it felt ok, why not? When it stopped feeling ok, I’d know. My midwife and my husband, a family practice doctor, had no problem with my activity, and I knew I wasn’t overdoing it because I limited my formal exercise to 30 minutes to an hour, with a rest day or two thrown in.

And then the third trimester showed up and was all, “Enjoy the return of your morning sickness! Also, the freakish amount of relaxin in your body will make deadlifts with 5 pound dumbbells make you walk funny for the next three days! Have fun!”

So, where I’m at right now is a lot of long morning walks with the dog, some light circuit workouts with handweights, and if I feel like running I’ll go, but only once a week and no more than 3 miles.

I suspect I will be down to just walking soon, and that’s fine with me. Walking is quite a workout when you’re being dragged down the street by your dog while carrying a baby belly up front!

Ugh, I’m so sorry to hear the morning sickness came back! That really doesn’t seem fair. When you heard questions like “Should you be doing jumping jacks?” did it make you second-guess your exercise routine? I know pregnant women hear a lot of conflicting advice about what’s ok and what’s not.

There have been several times when I’ve worried about either doing too little or too much. When I needed a reality check, I logged a few workouts and consulted my midwife, who was able to give me suggestions about cutting back or feeling good about what I was doing.

I had to acknowledge that I’m a person of extremes – I was convinced that if I missed a day, I’d never be motivated to workout again. This proves to be patently false over and over; rest days refresh me.

Pregnancy challenged me to say to myself, “What am I capable of today?”, relinquishing control over a rigid schedule and workout plan. The beauty of this mindset shift is that I actually became more active. Since I stopped quantifying my workouts, I no longer felt like my day was divided between WORKOUT and REST. I could do a 30 minute workout DVD in the morning, take a 15 minute walk with the dog later, run errands, and stretch in the evening.  And some days I could do a 20 minute walk and call it good, knowing it will all balance out in the end.

I think I would have finally understood that exercise doesn’t have to be all or nothing even if I wasn’t expecting a baby but (thankfully) pregnancy expedited this very important realization.

Once you’ve welcomed your baby girl, how do you plan on recovering from the birth and getting back into your fitness routine? Do you have any goals in mind?

My short-term post-baby plan is to enjoy my little girl and believe my midwife and husband when they say I will need weeks to rest and recover. I’m pretty sure the only thing on the agenda will be walks.

Longer-term, I’d like to resume my 10K goal I was working on before tackling my fertility issues and getting pregnant.

But my overarching goal is to model healthy eating and exercise habits to my child. Moreover, I never want her to feel like she is less important than my workout. While I think it’s important for any parent to claim some “me-time,” an ED is extremely self-centered. Once I started really recovering two years ago, I was astonished at how much easier it was to focus outwardly and start really engaging with others again. I want to continue to be this present for my daughter and my husband.

And I do miss heavy lifting! I was just saying to my husband the other day that while I have no plans to resume a strict powerlifting training schedule again, I can’t wait to get back to deadlifting!

Ahh, deadlifts and running! A woman after my own heart. Apart from things like dealing with nausea and not being able to lift heavy, has pregnancy affected you in terms of body image at all? I imagine with an ED history that might come up when your body is changing in a way that’s out of your control.

Pretty much any woman experiences some ambivalence towards her changing body and new physical limitations when pregnant. And yet, it’s considered mildly vain to outrageous anathema if we vocalize any of this discomfort. It shouldn’t be. Pregnancy causes rapid, and what feels like uncontrollable, alterations to how we look, feel, and operate. I think it’s completely normal to have feelings – some good, some not good – in response to these changes. I encourage other pregnant women to speak with other expecting or current mothers, spouses/partners, counselors, and health professionals if you are struggling, or even just feeling a little bit down.

What I found so reassuring is that exercise, when done sensibly, is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your baby when pregnant.

So I continue to rely on moving, but no longer as a tool for self-punishment. Instead, my exercise is finally healthy, functioning as a release, a privilege, a way of tending to my unborn child, and a form of self-care.

Thank you so much for sharing your story on Fit Mama Friday today, Jessica. I’m so happy for you and excited for you to meet your daughter in just a couple of months! And Happy Birthday to you!!

You can contact Jessica by email at jpeyroberts {@} gmail {dot) com, on Twitter, Linked In, Facebook and Pinterest. Jessica blogs regularly at Absurd, She Wrote.

Fit Mama Friday – Fit Dad Friday

Every Friday on Fine Fit Day I feature a Fit Mama or a Fit Dad story of how and why a fit and healthy mama or dad ensures fitness is a priority in her or his life. You’ll read about all kinds of parents and their fitness stories. Some are stay-at-home parents, some are single parents, some juggle more than one job on top of parenthood, but they are all committed to a fit and healthy lifestyle. As you’re getting ready for your weekend, I hope you’re inspired to be active after reading about these kick-ass mamas and dads on Fit Mama Friday – Fit Dad Friday!

 

Do you want to be featured on Fit Mama Friday? Or do you know someone you’d like to see featured? Please contact me for details!