I don’t know where to start with this post. So much has happened since I checked in when Baby T was just one month old and I feel like a totally different person – in good ways and bad ways. So, what is life with two boys like these days?
First, let me tell you that my little squoodge, all 17lbs, 3oz of him (!) is the easiest, sweetest baby I could ever have imagined. All that time he spent never sleeping while I was pregnant clearly wore him out, because he is the best sleeper on planet earth. Down by 9:30pm, up at 8am, and two pretty regularly timed naps every day. He cries if he gets overtired before nap time during the day, but that’s really about it. He doesn’t even cry when he wakes up in his crib in the morning, wet diaper or not. I just hear him making happy little cooing noises, then delight in his face breaking into a gummy smile and his little legs in his sleep sack thumping when he sees mama.
So I’m lucky and I know it. And while Fran has gone back to working from an office, he’s still home a couple of days a week, which makes my life so much easier. Things like just being able to pass him Tanner so I can grab something, or have him help Roman when I have my hands full is so helpful. (Of course he does much more and is a really hands-on dad, but it’s those little moments when I’m home alone with them and I’m just stuck nursing when Roman needs me “Immediately, mama!” that I realize how awesome it’s been to have Fran around so much.)
This is how Baby T is dressed when Daddy is the one who gets him out of his crib in the morning…
Except…that this is the summer of client dates and work travel for Fran, apparently. Coinciding with my return to work, training clients three mornings a week. And I would just like to take a moment to stand up and give a standing ovation to every solo parent and military spouse out there. You are all phenomenal and I don’t know how you do it. You must be superheroes, or at least possess one or two magic powers, because it is bordering on impossible for me to take care of these two boys on my own.
All the things I love most about Roman – his sense of humor and silliness; how razor sharp he is; how talkative he is (his favorite thing in the world is to talk and talk and talk); his imagination; his strong independent streak – turns out, those are all qualities that are hard to deal with when you’re juggling a baby and a diaper bag and a stroller and it’s 85 degrees and humid and you have to be outside because he’s 3 years old and if he doesn’t nap today you actually might have a nervous breakdown. Maybe I should rethink the whole ‘leaving the house’ nonsense, because I almost always border on a nervous breakdown at some point during our mornings, anyway.
‘Willful’ might be a good word to sum up this particular toddler. 🙂
Lots of people ask us if Roman is jealous of Tanner, or if he’s been acting up since Tanner arrived. I don’t think he’s jealous. He’s very loving toward Baby T, cooing at him and stroking his cheek, or whispering, “Booby” into his ear. (His theory is that’s Tanner’s favorite thing in the world, so it must make him happy to hear.) 
Is he acting up? Yes, but he’s that age when kids are going through a fiercely independent stage, when they can’t actually do everything they think they can just yet. It’s frustrating for him and he tantrums accordingly, but he was doing that when I was pregnant, too. I do think he gets a little bored sometimes. We don’t get out for quite as long as we used to be able to, simply because it takes the three of us forever to get everything together just to leave the apartment. And while I don’t think I’m a helicopter parent, I really like playing with Roman, which we can’t really do with a tiny (well, a young but hefty) baby strapped to my front. And of course he doesn’t really understand exactly why mama is not as much fun as she used to be.
Back in the mid-pregnancy days, when we ran around like crazy people in deserted, snowy playgrounds. (On gorgeous winter days, I don’t understand why the snow on the ground keeps people away!)
As a result I’ve noticed that I walk around with my jaw tight shut and aching. I have TMJ and my jaw is the first place I notice stress. But it’s at the stage now when I’ve actually made it a point to at least once a day try to do breathing exercises and focus on relaxing my face and it’s not even helping.
Maybe it seems like I’m complaining and maybe I am, but even with an easy baby like Squoodge, this motherhood gig is HARD. And I was head-in-the-sand all through my second pregnancy about how hard it would be with two kids. But I wouldn’t trade a second of it. (Well, maybe some of the screaming tantrums seconds.) The heart explosion I feel when I see Tanner tracking his brother around the room while cooing and smiling is ridiculous. Having Roman wander out from his nap and snuggle into me on the couch before he’s fully awake and is back to being a big boy rampaging around like a maniac is one of the sweetest moments of my day.
Glorious nap time. 🙂
I don’t remember everything from when Roman was a baby. I remember some tough moments, but I more so remember a lot of fun. Most of all, I have memories of times I gazed at him and held him, wishing I could hold onto that moment forever. All too soon, these boys will be grown up and independent, growing their own families. Although that seems almost incomprehensible to me, I know it will come too quickly, so I try to hold onto that thought on the days it gets hard. 
Advice I need to give myself:
- Stop reading all the articles on parenting. Seriously, there’s a new parenting method every ten seconds and I get sucked into reading all of it. None of it makes you feel good and none of it takes into account that every single child and baby is totally different.
- Pick your battles. Sometimes I find myself locked into a struggle of wills with Roman about things like how many trucks he can bring to the playground. (He thinks ten is a good number. I think three should be the maximum. And you KNOW who gets to lug the bag filled with trucks.) I have to let the little stuff slide and focus on getting annoyed by the big stuff. 😉
- Always double check you have enough coffee for the morning.
- Always double check you have enough wine for the evening.
- Sniff Baby T’s neck some more.
- Play tickle monster with Roman some more.
Despite the first point being to ignore articles on parenting, I could probably write a book with just those bullet points as the premise and it would be a best seller!
What do you remember most about your kids as babies?
Will you buy my parenting book? 😉
Wow, what a great sleeper! (I say as my toddler is walking around his crib starting to get fussy at 6:30am, ugh!) But really, it sounds like things are going well. 🙂 Love your bullet points!!
Tiff recently posted…Fitness Friday: Prenatal Cardio at Home
Ha ha ha Well, I forgot to mention my 3 year old is up way earlier than 8! But it’s nice to be able to get coffee and breakfast done before my baby-day begins, you know? 🙂
It sounds like you’re handling everything beautifully – there’s bound to be some stress and chaos no matter what! I’m glad that your three fellas are treating you well…they’re lucky to have you!
Ruthie@She’sWickedHealthy recently posted…Friday Favorites – This is Why I Love Summer!
Thanks my lovely friend! I read (actually, drooled over) your Europe food post yesterday and will comment over the weekend – what a fabulous time it looks like you had and that picture of you with a Bellini in Venice…could you be any lovelier?? 🙂
That’s great that he sleeps so well at such an early age! Adorable little guy 🙂
lemonade wise recently posted…Robin Quivers’ 70Lb Weight Loss With The Lemonade Diet
Thank you!!! I know, we are so lucky with his sleeping. He eats ALL day long and he’s a big boy, so I think he just matured early.
Aww Carly. Even though I have two little girls, I can definitely relate to your feelings & emotions. Reese hasn’t acted out towards the baby (well a few times because she was trying to pick her up…), but she definitely acts out especially the first two weeks because she’s almost two. She’s an independent little stinker & it’s hard to feel like you aren’t the fun mom anymore. I never thought of it like that!
I’m thinking of you and I love that I have blogger friends who are at the same point in their motherhood journeys. It can feel like a lonely road sometimes, but reading your blog and a few others always makes me feel like I’m not crazy.
Tanner is so big! Oh my goodness. I love all of his little chunky rolls and especially that hair. His hair is to die for! Hang in there momma. Before we know it, they’ll be in high school and we’ll be balling like babies to just have one more minute of them at this age.
Elizabeth @ Fit Life with E recently posted…A Day in the Life with a Newborn and a Toddler
Yes! To all of this! I’ve been loving your posts because we are so in the same boat right now. And I think it’s important to say motherhood is wonderful, but sometimes it’s hard and lonely like you said – and that’s OKAY! It makes all the good stuff even better. And I’m already dreading them going off to college and leaving home!!! (I can’t believe in already thinking about that, hahahaha)
At the end of the school year my friend and I were discussing the craziness that is the end of the school year and we wound up chatting about having a newborn and a toddler. She mentioned something her sister-in-law had been told on a particularly bad day “The days will be long and the years will be fast”. Looking at my 10 and 8 year old, I can say how true this is and it has helped me through some of the tougher mommy days 🙂
Susan Fishback recently posted…Running to run
Yes!! Someone said that to me recently and I thought, that’s it! That’s exactly how it is. And it does help to remember that, for sure. Thanks Susan, I love having mama friends like you. Xo
You’re boys are so cute I can’t take it. The baby’s smile and hair– stop! LOL – they’re lil smile makers for sure!
Lisa @ RunWiki recently posted…Easy DIY Marathon & Half Marathon Candle Jar
The hair is out of control. His brother’s was the same when he was a baby!! I love it. Don’t want them to grow up so fast!
I loved this!!! Gemma is only 6 months old and I’m already wanting another one. This was a great intro into what I’m getting into. 😉 I am so proud of what you are accomplishing and so look up to you on my new journey into my own mommy fitness biz on this coast! 🙂
Oh lady, thank you for this sweet comment! Gemma is ridiculously adorable so I don’t blame you for wanting another bubba already!! Email me anytime – I think you heading up a mommy fitness business is GENIUS.
Hi, new reader here! Thank you for this post. It is so good to hear that you wouldn’t trade it. Our baby daughter has just turned 1, and we’re starting to have the “Okay, can we handle another one?” talks. I’m intimidated by how much work it will be to have a toddler and a baby at the same time!
Amanda at HeyRunnerMama recently posted…The Baby Game
You know what? It’s just like when you try to decide if you’re ready to have the first one. You never are/already are ready. 🙂 And there are pros and cons to every age gap. My brother and I are 7 years apart and my husband is an only child, so we were flying blind on the whole ‘what’s the best age gap’ issue. It’s going to be hard if your daughter is 2, 3, 4 or older – but it will also be wonderful and heart expanding and amazing, even when you think you’re going to have a breakdown. 😉 Oh and yay! new reader. Welcome!
Ahhh what gorgeous boys you have! I can’t believe Tanner is 17 lbs! I am not sure Cooper is 17lbs yet (although he is scrawny for his age!). I love that photo where he is in the Motorhead t-shirt because he has such a cheeky grin on his face.
I will buy your book based on points 3 &4 alone!
I feel like Cooper as a little baby is now just a blur. I’m trying to hold on and remember all the good things like the hug he gave me yesterday before I left for the airport or the way he does this funny yell thing and then grabs my face and sucks on it like he is trying to give me a kiss and how he kicks his legs like a maniac when I walk into the room.
Britt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…Friday’s Food & Fitness: A Healthy Day in Boston
I think points 3 and 4 are the key to parenting!
Um, Tanner is RIDICULOUS. He’s 98th percentile for weight and literally off the chart for height.
Cooper is such a grown-up baby already! How does it happen so fast, Britt??
Yes, I’d buy your parenting book! Especially because Squoodge is the perfect nickname.
I actually get nostalgic for Scarlet being three and Des being a newborn, even though she was a terribly shrill 3, and he was a bit cranky too. With 12 poops a day.
Ah.
And to think I’d do it all again and add a third.
Tamara recently posted…Summer Vacation: Being Ready For Anything.
oh, the pooping! It’s never-ending!! With those cheeks, Tanner never stood a chance against a nickname like Squoodge. 😉
We don’t have kids yet, but friends of ours just had their second boy in March and told us the transition from 1 to 2 was much, much more difficult than going from 0 to 1. I really love both of your boys’ names! They are both so cute – it’s funny how Roman looks so much like your husband while Tanner has so much of you! I would absolutely buy your book – we will have no idea where to even start when we have our first!!
Emilie recently posted…{let’s tie the knot} the engagement
I couldn’t agree more with your friends! And you think with the second it’s going to be easier because you (sort of kind of) know what you’re doing the second time around. Ha!
I’m starting to think that you just make this “hard” stuff up about parenting because you make it look so easy! Those boys are so lucky to have you (and Fran too, obvi). And though you may not have a cape or tights or a mask (which by the way, I think you should probably invest in them at this point), I’m absolutely positive I’ve seen your superpowers firsthand and have been standing in ovation (?) over your strength for years. (Really though, I’d like to sit down. Anytime you’d like to give me a break would be great). And yes, I’ll buy your book. Lord knows I’ll need it someday. xo
Sit down already, geez! You’re making me feel uncomfortable with all that standing. The day after I posted this Tanner had a massive meltdown and I felt like I jinxed myself. :/
Oh my goodness, I love Baby T’s hair..too cute! You are so lucky to have a good little sleeper – being well rested makes life much easier right! 🙂
Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness recently posted…5 Yummy Dessert Ideas Under 200 Calories
Isn’t his hair amazing?? 🙂 And yes, I am super lucky and I know it, with the sleep! It makes a huge difference.
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I think you’re a perfect mom and you seem to be in “perfect” control of everything. I say perfect in quotes because with three boys (enter Fran) you can never really get to the level of perfection that you will view as perfect. So hang in there mama T, it will get better with time. You boys are so adorbs! Baby T is so chubby and cuddly, I love love his hair and I just feel like I wanna cuddle him. You are super lucky to have them and I bet they are luckier to have you.
Rose recently posted…How To Treat Insomnia (NATURALLY)