My sweet, wonderful son is fast approaching two years old (side note: how did that happen??) and I’ve been thinking back recently on what life was like pre-baby. TOTALLY DIFFERENT is an understatement. Nothing can prepare you for becoming a parent. Honestly, no matter how much I read when I was pregnant, or how much advice I received, there really was no way I could have known what becoming a mama would have been like until it happened.
So, this is my list of the 10 Things I’ve Learned from Becoming a Parent. It may not be the same as every parent’s list, but these were the things I learned only after my son came into my life.
I had no idea the depth of love I would feel for my son. It’s staggering and overwhelming when I think about how hard I love him. That doesn’t stop me worrying that if I had another baby I might not love him or her as much. Logically, I understand that your heart expands and you have this crazy, intense, all-encompassing love for each child, but it’s hard to wrap your head around that before it happens.
Patience is KEY to parenthood. Whether you’re dealing with tantrums, an annoying toy that needs to “lose” its batteries stat, a refusal to eat the food that up until yesterday was his all-time favorite, or the myriad other little battles of parenthood, it’s patience that will get you through. I’ve always thought of myself as patient, but I had NO IDEA how much calm I was capable of.
You’re your child’s first teacher, whether you realize it or not. Every moment you spend with them, they are soaking in your lessons via your actions and words. I’ve discovered that independence is hugely important to me, both for myself and to instill in Roman. Without planning on it as some kind of parenting style, I let him attempt things without help so he can learn how to do it for himself. Now I realize that’s a big part of my own personality, too.
WAY too short. I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown by since my son was born. It makes me realize how precious time is, that it’s so important to appreciate the moments you have and to let go of all the crap that’s not important.
This one is true even when you think you have no time. I understand why so many mamas get caught up in putting their kids first to the point where they NEVER take time for themselves. I definitely put Roman’s needs before my own and make him my priority in life. But you know what? If I didn’t take time to run, or workout, or go out with girlfriends occasionally, I wouldn’t be as good of a parent. It’s part of setting an example for him and it’s part of staying sane, so you can remain patient (see point 2).
Those kids songs get stuck in your head and NEVER GO AWAY. I’m looking at you, Raffi, Yo Gabba Gabba and Elmo.
It’s liberating to care less about what others think of you. I sing silly made-up songs to Roman in public. Loudly. Whatever makes him laugh is okay with me and I really don’t care that my singing voice is ATROCIOUS. Being a parent means being silly in public when you’re having fun with your kid.
Yup, that’s right, all the gross stuff I thought would be a big deal to get over before I had a baby doesn’t even register. All the icky parts, like getting thrown-up on, the poop, picking boogers out of your son’s nose, getting sticky residue all over you at all times – none of it is a big deal. This one was a big surprise for me.
I know I’m incredibly lucky to have such an amazing co-parent and I’m so grateful. Fran is an awesome father. In all aspects of daddy-hood, he pretty much rules. He changes diapers/nappies like a champion. He loves having daddy-son time when mama wants to go run or do her own thing. He loves Roman infinitely and it’s mutual. I cannot fathom how much harder parenthood would be if I didn’t have that support of an awesome partner. I think single parents are AMAZING and I have an enormous respect for how much more strength and patience and steel they have to have.
All those trite sayings you hear before parenthood (or incessantly when you’re pregnant) like, “It’s the best job in the world!” “It’s the best thing you’ll ever do in your life!” “It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life!” – well, it turns out they’re all true, AND it also turns out you find yourself saying them occasionally.
That’s my list – parents, what would be on your list?
Love this, Carly! I was nodding my head at each and every item on your list. Especially #4. When I became a mother, I realized that even if I live to be 107, it won’t be long enough. I never want to say goodbye to my precious girls.
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I hear you. Today I reached my hand out to Roman to help him on a wobbly bridge in the playground and he said, “No Mama, I do it.” Simultaneously made my heart swell with pride and break because he’s growing up SO fast!
Great list. I agree with most of those. However, I ended up finding out that I am less patient than I might have though. And, I still think the gross stuff is pretty gross!!!
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You know what’s funny, is the day I posted this, I was *Sorely* tried in the patience area by Roman, who decided to work on his tantrum skills. It was like the universe was saying, “So, you think you’re patient, huh?” 😉
One thing I learned is that it’s totally normal and okay to think your kid has the cutest voice in the world (sitting in the back seat singing along to the Cranberries) and the next minute think that if you hear their whining nasal tone one more time you’re going to strangle them (doing their best imitation of Stewie from Family Guy “mama, mama, mom, mommy, MOMMA, MAAAAHHHMMMM”)
Ha ha ha!! “Parenthood: A Contextual Experience”. (I can totally imagine him singing to the Cranberries and I know it must be super adorable).
You nailed it! When I first became a parent, my mom commented on how patient I had become–it’s being a parent that makes that happen, for sure! And yes, life is far, far, too short. My son turns 14 next month. It makes me incredibly sad b/c it has just absolutely flown by and I have so few years left with him at home. And yep, all those sayings are true, and I find myself imparting them on new moms these days, too!
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