“Believe You Can and You’re Halfway There.” – I’ve always loved this quote. To me it means that an accomplishment is not only about overcoming external forces, about working hard and making sacrifices. It’s also about overcoming the power of your own mind. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?
It still holds that meaning for me. But what about the times when halfway (or a little beyond) is as far as you get? Is halfway sometimes okay?
I don’t mean a scenario where you believe you can do something, but never attempt it. I’m talking about having a goal, believing or knowing you can do it, working hard towards that goal, then at some point realizing it’s not going to work out, so you stop.
There have definitely been times in my life when I have had to let go of a goal. An obvious example is back in 2012, when I was signed up for the NYC Marathon. I had given birth in January that year and I just totally overestimated the amount of time I would have for training. Reluctantly, I had to admit to myself that a marathon wasn’t in the cards for me that year. I knew I could do it – or, I believed I could – but I also knew that I wasn’t ready to dedicate the time that was necessary for training. Deep down, I felt like maybe I was a quitter. Now, with hindsight, I think I made a good decision that was right for me and my life at the time. Just by signing up, by getting back into running, training and racing as soon as I could after giving birth, by believing in my ability, it was like I was halfway there.
A few weeks ago, Christine wrote about compassion and her yoga teacher training. In her conclusion, she wrote about whether exercising compassion towards yourself could be a way of ‘wiggling out of uncomfortable situations’. It’s stuck with me ever since I read this passage:
Ever since I read that, I’ve evaluated all the times I’ve found myself thinking, “I’m not ready for…” or “I shouldn’t be hard on myself about…” and asked myself if those thoughts were me being compassionate towards myself, or just masking a fear of failure? I think what’s most difficult about this concept is that sometimes it’s tough to gauge whether you’re afraid or being sensible, when you’re in the moment. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has only realized with hindsight that a decision to let go of a goal was right or wrong.
Some people thought I was making a poor decision when I didn’t pursue a career in the art museum world. But that decision was right for me – I ended up working for a great company for a few years, learning sales skills and about interior design. Then people really thought I was crazy when I quit that well-paid job to go to school to be a personal trainer. But that was one of the best decisions of my life. It’s led me here, to training and writing, feeling fulfilled in my work and with more time to spend with my family and friends. That said, maybe it’s time to reevaluate any big, crazy goals for the future and see if I can let go of the fear of failure.
What decisions in your life have you only realized were right or wrong after the fact?
Is there something in your life you would do if you KNEW you would succeed?
Great post!!!
I think that many of us struggle with the difference between quitting and knowing that we need to change something up – I know I battle this a lot!!!
Kim recently posted…Counting Down with Gratitude
Thanks!! Sometimes quitting is the only thing that moves us forward, but it’s so drummed into us to “never give up”, it’s a hard thing to gauge.
I have had a number of moments in my life where I’ve made decisions that were wrong. Likewise, I have had my moments where I have seriously thought that I had made a mistake and in the end, I had not. My two current subjects of personal grief are registering for the Blue Ridge Mountain Half – I’m actually scared to death – and not finishing school when I was far younger and had more time on my hands. I guess this is where faith just has to come into play for me. I have faith that everything will work out the way it is meant to.
Theresa recently posted…EnergyBits – Ok, I’m a Believer!
I think it really helps to have a sense of faith, or even fatalism, that everything is meant to be. Good luck with your half!! It sounds incredibly beautiful (and maybe a tad challenging and hilly!!) 🙂
I love this post so much! I have a hard time believing in myself, and I’m not really quite sure why. There are so many different things that I want to accomplish, but I’m scared to take the leap of faith to do them. Hopefully soon!
Lindsay @ Lindsay Weighs In recently posted…Treat Yourself Tuesday #4
Thanks, Lindsay! Sometimes just by starting something you can learn to believe in yourself. I’m a big proponent of ‘fake it till you make it’ in cases where I’m nervous or doubting myself.
Love this, Carly! Hindsight really is 20/20. It’s hard to always know what the best or right decision is, but I’ve found that my gut (and my heart) are usually spot on!
Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…TrailHeads Power Gloves Review & Giveaway
Thanks, Nicole! I agree, you can generally sense when you’re making the right decision. I will say that even the odd “wrong” decision sometimes leads you to something worthwhile, too.
I love this Carly and I’m so glad to hear that the post resonated with you. I think that it is a hard distinction to make between being truly compassionate versus masking a fear of failure or using it as an excuse and I don’t think that it’s cut or dry. I think that the act of even considering that there might be another motive or possibility is huge in and of itself – and maybe what it’s all about. For me, it’s really about learning to listen to my inner voice and trust my gut more.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…9 Things I Learned During Yoga Teacher Training
Thanks Christine! Trusting your gut is key, especially if you’re worrying about what other people are thinking. That can drown out the inner voice sometimes!
Awesome post!
I think that as long as you’ve gone as far as you can go, you haven’t given up. You set your own deadlines and expectations, and if you stop half way, at least you know you tried and gave it your best. I agree with Christine–you need to listen to your inner voice telling you how much you can handle. That’s all that matters!
Rosey Rebecca recently posted…Come For Thanksgiving Next Year
Thanks Rebecca! Yup, inner voice is key. I also think that sometimes making a mistake is key for the next time you attempt something.
I’m so crazy. Sometimes I stop doing things because I am afraid of failure or even having to set the bar higher! WTF! I realize why I do it now, but it has taken me a long time. Especially with my blog, I know that if I hit certain goals, it means I have to do more and I’m held more accountable to be even better. It’s scary to know what you are capable of!
Kayla recently posted…5 Tips to Stage Your House {B2TG}
That’s an interesting point – like once you meet a goal, you need to surpass it the next time you try. I totally relate to that as well!