Thank you guys so much for the love when I snuck in the news that Fran had just been laid off in last week’s post about comparison. It could have been something we panicked over, or worried about, for sure. The last time something like this happened was ten years ago. Back then, the company he worked for was bought out and he was laid off. We cried and were stressed, but obviously everything worked out just fine. And it will again!
I want to share with you guys a little experiment I stumbled upon recently. When we found out I was pregnant with Tanner after a few months only of trying, it coincidentally happened right at a very tricky financial time for us. We’d had a lot of unforeseen expenses all at once, wiping out a lot of our savings, and on top of that we had to switch health insurance which meant some of our prenatal and hospital care was not as affordable as it could have been. It was incredibly stressful. The first few weeks of being pregnant, before we’d told anyone, I lay in bed worrying about it at night. Finally, I decided I just needed to get it out.
On a piece of paper, I wrote out all the specific things about our situation I was worrying about. I told myself that thinking about them constantly wasn’t going to change the situation, then I took the list, folded it up and tucked it in a corner of my wallet. I left it there, already feeling better, as if just by putting my worries in writing and giving myself permission to stop letting them fill my mind, the burden had lifted. Last week, a few days after Fran became unemployed, I was cleaning out my wallet and found that list. Reading it over, not ONE of the things I stressed about became an issue. I’d listed things like, what if we can’t find someone to take Roman when we go to hospital? What if we literally can’t afford the delivery costs? How can I afford to take any time off for maternity leave? All of those just took care of themselves, not without some scrimping and juggling, but everything worked out. It was proof, in writing, just as I needed a reminder again, that worrying doesn’t work.
In the spirit of that unintentional experiment, Fran and I have decided to take a huge leap that we’ve been thinking and dreaming about for a long time. (If you asked some of our closest friends, you’d hear that we’ve been rabbiting on about and vaguely threatening to do this for years.) We have lived in Brooklyn for ten years. We’ve lived in NYC for several years longer than that. But next month?
We will be living in Vermont.
Yup, you read that right!
We have rented an apartment, booked the movers and are starting over in Burlington, VT. We always wanted to do this before Roman went to school (and now we have two boys, there is double the incentive). We have run out of space in this little corner of Brooklyn we’ve called home for so long. We’ve run out of patience with the things you just put up with as New Yorkers, which wouldn’t fly in many other places in the country. And I am so excited to discover a new place and have a different quality of life. Although I am quite sure I will walk way too fast for quite some time after moving there.
So keep an eye out for some serious goodbye-to-NYC posts coming up over the next month, as we plan (quickly) for our next adventure in life.
Have you ever made a big decision quickly?
Do you worry, or do you just see what happens?
Any advice for an interstate move?
Sooo excited for you. And you nailed it. Worrying is praying for what you do not want.
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Thank you!!! It’s so exciting and overwhelming all at once. And that’s a perfect way of describing worrying.
YES YES YES!!!! This is the best news and I’m sure finally being able to get it out is making it super real! Burlington, VT is one of my most favorite places on the planet and I WILL be visiting!!!!
And the “Bob” video is just great 🙂
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Yay!! You know you’re always welcome!! I am just sad that I won’t be in NYC to see you running the marathon! 🙁
WHOA! Holy news!!!!!! I’m so excited for you guys! It makes a huge difference once you get out of NYC. You notice how intense people are from NYC. It is kind of crazy. I think you will love Vermont! I hope you find it to be everything you hoped for. I love exploring new places. I am definitely looking forward to reading your goodbye NYC posts. Memories!
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Thanks Britt! I think we’ll be really happy and I’m curious to see how quickly (or slowly) our New Yorkiness wears off.
Absolutely right, friend! When in doubt…! I’m SO excited for you and your new adventure!
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Thanks Tiffany!! It will be such a big change but I am so excited and think it will be amazing for all of us!
Sorry to hear about Fran’s unemployment :(. I always feel like you can never be so certain and over extend yourself financially for the fear that something like that will happen. Being overly cautious I guess. I just spent 4 days in Vermont and I LOVED it!!! I really want to get off Long Island and although Vermont was definitely a slower pace it was so relaxing and most importantly less stressful. It’s also so beautiful up there. When will you be actually moving? Wishing you the best of luck with your move and look forward to reading your updates. 🙂
Thanks my lovely! Fran’s unemployment was totally a good thing because it made us just set a date already!! (Which is 9/15). I’m really excited about it and while there are things I think I’ll miss about Brooklyn, I secretly think it will be a much faster adjustment than we anticipate.
Sorry to hear about Fran losing his job. But everything happens for a reason and now you are finally able to take that leap of faith you have always wanted to. Moving to a new place is exciting. I’m sure you will make the best of it wherever you are. Goodluck!
lacey@fairytalesandfitness.com recently posted…Going off the deep end
Exactly! I’ve always believed life throws things at you for a reason and I’m looking forward to our new adventures! 🙂
LOVE this!!! My husband and I took the kids and went away for the weekend for a 5K and fell in love with the area. If I could move tomorrow, I would be out of here. Time to get serious!
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Well now you can live vicariously through me and see what the big move is like!! Maybe it will inspire you to move and we’ll be neighbors! 😉
You do know that you will only be 4 hours from me now?!? A meet up will be happening! Maybe we could do the VCM relay as a team? Great news and I love that you are doing this. So awesome!!
Angela @ Happy Fit Mama recently posted…Lessons from Marathon Training {So far}
YAY!!! I would LOVE to meet up with you! Add this to the list of overwhelming positives for the move. I’ll need to pick your brain about all the fun races in the area. And I really need to get to the VT DMV to replace my expired Australian drivers license! #newyorkerproblems
Omg, I feel like we are very much in a similar mental space right now. Like movement after a period of stasis and ambiguity. Taking one leap leads to another, and then you FLY!
Susie @ SuzLyfe recently posted…A Damn Perfect Weekend and 7 Years Together
Isn’t it weird when you take action on something, it’s like it opens up all these other opportunities? And having made this decision and started the moving process I’m already excited and feeling how stagnant and stuck I’d been feeling without realizing it. xo
You are amazing! I can feel your positive energy through the screen of my computer– how is that possible? I’ve always wanted to visit or live in Vermont. The life suits my husband and ( minus the snow) and I can see us owning a flower stand along the road and living in a little tiny farm house somewhere. I’d love to get rid of 90% of our belongings and live a more simple life. I admire you for so many reasons. Sending you all my love and well wishes as you begin this next chapter.
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Thank you so much, dear Lisa! And you know if you ever want to visit, you’ll have a place to stay! (Better skip the winter though, ha ha!). I can feel in my gut that this is the right decision for us, so the positive energy is all from excitement to be starting this new beginning! xo
ah! I am going to miss you so much! Just knowing you were so close was always good enough for me–also you totally could have left Roman with us when you went into labor! Regardless I am so happy for you and I hope to visit you in VT soon. <3
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Oh Nellie, I will miss you and my NYC bloggy tribe. And you are such a sweetheart – I know you and so many others would have been there to mind Roman in a flash. Not all of my worries were rational!! 😉 I would LOVE it if you came to visit in VT! We are so close to the Ben & Jerry’s factory, can you imagine the boys going crazy there??
Oh no, I will miss you in Brooklyn!!! But so excited for you and Fran and the boys to make the move to VT. My dad grew up in Brattleboro so I spent a lot of time there visiting my grandparents when I was younger. The fresh air will be such a great change from stinky NYC! (Get ready for some snow…)
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I’m definitely going to miss all my wonderful blogging friends in BK and NYC! Fran actually grew up just outside of Woodstock, VT, so I’ve visited a lot and know what I’m in for with the winters!! With a car and a state that doesn’t consider it an emergency when they get more than 12 inches, I feel like it will be a different experience from NYC, though. You are welcome anytime you want to visit!
Wait! You’ll still be in NYC when I get home so I can say a proper goodbye, yes?? I am so excited for you all. Truly. And you are amazing. I so admire that you are taking this leap of faith. You are right – everything will work out in the end. I can’t wait for you guys to start this new adventure!
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted…Off To The Beach
Yes! We’re leaving Sept 15, so there will be time to see each other, for sure! Aagh, I will miss our coffee dates, lady!! It’s been so lovely having you as a friend AND neighbor. Text me when you get back so we can get together! xoxo
I can relate to this in SO many ways. Sophia, our now almost six year old was a complete surprise. When I found out I was pregnant with her my hubby was unemployed and depressed and we had no health insurance. I had SO many worries, especially financial ones and was an absolute nut case at the time. But a lot of those worries I had did not materialize. And then the same thing again with Jack, we had very minimal insurance when he was born (oh the joys of self employment) and he needed so MUCH medical care and yet, our needs were met and the financial worries never materialized. We’re in a similar spot now (well, now we have good insurance) but another turning point for my hubby and his business and his health and we’re faced with some tough financial decisions and its so easy to WORRY like crazy. I’m going to take your idea: write those worries down and tuck them in my wallet. I know we’ll be OK and make it through, probably with some difficulty and sacrifice. But we’ll make it:) And you guys will too! And Burlington is AMAZING. And we’ll be sort-of neighbors!!
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The insurance and financial worries can get out of control. When I saw that positive result on the stick and I knew we’d only be partially covered by insurance, there was definitely panic. And my husband suffers from anxiety, so I really tried to pull it together. I wrote on Roman’s chalkboard “Everything Will Be Okay,” then told him that night and every time he mentioned something that could be a huge, scary problem I’d say, “Yes, but…” and point at the board. Now when someone asks me how you know when it’s the right time to have another child, I don’t hesitate to tell them WHENEVER is the best time. Now I know you can do it at literally the worst timing of your life and it be magical and love-filled and wonderful just the same. Try the wallet list! I really had forgotten I’d done it and to re-read those worries that had just taken care of themselves made me feel so calm. And yay for being sort-of neighbors! We will have to plan a meet up, with Angela as well! 🙂
Oh, honey. I was researching Burlington TODAY! Not to live, but because I want to take a last trip with the kids this summer. I love it there. It’s magical. I remember my first time there was in winter and the entire city was covered in slush. We’d all kind of just.. ice skate on our shoes to the bars we were hopping. there was a group of guys and they pushed one of their friends towards me to talk to me, because he slid. It was that icy. Nothing came of it, but I adore everything about that city.
I moved cross country twice.. and I know you’re no stranger to moving, so I’ll just say that I take scary leaps and my anxiety does suffer, but I don’t in the long run. So worth it.
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It’s so beautiful there and such a mix of community and city-living in the great outdoors. I’m SO excited for it to become home! And very family-oriented as well, it would be a great end-of-summer trip for you guys! 🙂 I’m in the middle of being stressed by all the minutiae of moving, but the big picture of moving to a new state is just exciting to me. After you move country/continent/hemisphere, it can really put a move like this into perspective, ha ha!
Hi Carly!
Wow! Big news indeed! I remember one of the last times I saw you all (a Christmas party I think) we had talked about “The Move”. My wife and I made it almost 3 years ago now, and I can’t tell you how much better our lives have been since then. Like you all will be doing, we moved to a small city, which happened to be where my wife grew up. I work now about 10 minutes from my house, we put up with about 1/100th of the BS that one has to deal with as a New Yorker, and my kids have easy access to the outdoors, safe schools, and low cost yet enriching activities.
I wish you and Fran the best, and look forward to hearing more wonderful news moving forward. As you say, it all works out, and I would add that it all happens for a reason 🙂
Thanks, Shane! It’s so good to hear how much you guys are appreciating being in a smaller city. I was just saying to Fran that I’m sure we’ll be sad to leave, but I bet that feeling doesn’t last as long as we might imagine! I haven’t heard once from anyone who made the move that they wish they were still in the city – I guess quality of life has something to be said for it! 😉
I better get an invite to the going away bash. Leap and the net will catch you. Congrats on making that jump. Love you Poppet.
Love you too! Glad we had a New York moment before we left and yes, there will be some kind of going away do, so I’ll let you know! 🙂
You are amazing 🙂 Loved reading this here! You and your family are an inspiration!!
Thanks Karyn! And speaking of inspiration, you guys made a big move before we did, so you helped inspire us! So sad I will miss your return visit to book club, though. xoxo
How exciting! We visited Burlington when we were doing the college tours for my oldest son, and while he didn’t end up there, he and I both loved Burlington! Good luck!!
Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life recently posted…Chicken Lettuce Wraps with Avocado Mango Salsa
Thanks, Michelle! Isn’t it a great place? We are so looking forward to exploring and settling there! (Also, college!! OMG!)
I’m amazed at your attitude. I love that not a single thing that worried you when you were pregnant with Roman is even remotely a thorn in your side now! It’s amazing how that happens :).
I know this is an uncertain time for you all and I’m so sorry to hear that, but from my interactions with you online I know that you will make the best of anything! You’re a bound & determined mama & wife who is awesome at what you do. Keep it up & know that your friend in Ohio is thinking & praying for you all!!
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Thanks, my lovely! Yes, finding that list was perfect timing. It made me remember how overwhelmed I was at the time, but seeing after the fact how pointless the worry had been makes this whole move seem more calm! Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, lady! xo
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This was a huge leap, indeed! I believe that you made the right decision. Sometimes in life we get in situations like this when we lay in bed thinking of a solutions and the stress and over excitement don’t let us fall asleep. I admire you decision. I think it is good the you’ve moved. It is much better to move to a new place and get things together instead of staying on one place worrying about everything! Thanks for sharing! All the best!
Thanks Christine! Taking action is always a good move.
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